This is my response to a parent who reached out to me about her 17 year old son who is running their house. He dictates when he will/will not go to school. If his parents get frustrated with them he will "punish" them by not going to school. His mother regularly cleans urine off the toilet, because he can't be bothered to clean it up himself. Despite all of this he has a phone, video games, internet access, someone cooking & cleaning for him.
This is a perfect example of "High Giving/Low Expectations", a term I use to describe parents who have very low expectations of their children, yet give and give to them, unconditionally.
"High Giving/Low Expectations" in kids with ADHD is almost guaranteed to evolve into "adult-entitled dependence". Adult-entitled dependence describes young adults who are highly dependent on their parents to support them, yet want to be an adult when it's convenient for them. Another term for this could be: profound entitlement.
I strongly suggest you watch this video so you can prevent your child from becoming a highly dependent young adult. When you're ready to take actionable steps, please check out Scaffolding Better Behavior & Self-Confidence, my Parent Behavior Training program (and the first one in existence specifically for parents of kids with ADHD). Scaffolding Better Behavior is available at the ADHD Dude Membership Site.
W𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘐 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘭 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘧 𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘢 𝘱𝘩𝘰𝘯𝘦, 𝘷𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘰 𝘨𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘴, 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘯𝘦𝘵 𝘢𝘤𝘤𝘦𝘴𝘴, 𝘦𝘵𝘤. 𝘪𝘵 𝘴𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘴 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 "𝘩𝘪𝘨𝘩 𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨/l𝘰𝘸 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴". 𝘏𝘢𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘴𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘢 𝘱𝘳𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘭𝘦𝘨𝘦, 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵. 𝘏𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘳𝘰𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘴𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘺 𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘯 𝘢𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘶𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘭 𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘦𝘦𝘵𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘮𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘣𝘢𝘴𝘪𝘤 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴, 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮 𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬 1 𝘣𝘺 1. 𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘵, 𝘩𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘤𝘶𝘳𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘭𝘺 𝘰𝘯 𝘢 𝘱𝘢𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘰 "𝘢𝘥𝘶𝘭𝘵-𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘵𝘭𝘦𝘥 𝘥𝘦𝘱𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦". 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘰𝘵𝘵𝘰𝘮 𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘱 𝘢𝘤𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘮𝘰𝘥𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘪𝘮, 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘮𝘢𝘥𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘺 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘩𝘪𝘮, 𝘺𝘦𝘵 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘶𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘪𝘮. 𝘛𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘢 𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘰𝘶𝘴 𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘴𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘵𝘭𝘦𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵.