The rebranding of the permissive/indulgent parenting style.- ADHD Dude - Ryan Wexelblatt

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𝗧𝗵𝗲 "𝗿𝗲𝗯𝗿𝗮𝗻𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴" 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗺𝗶𝘀𝘀𝗶𝘃𝗲/𝗶𝗻𝗱𝘂𝗹𝗴𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘀𝘁𝘆𝗹𝗲,(𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗯𝗶𝗻𝗲𝗱 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗶𝗻𝗳𝗮𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗹𝗶𝘇𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗸𝗶𝗱𝘀 𝗮𝘀 𝗱𝗶𝘀𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗲𝗱).

I find this kind of post (that I see increasingly on social media ) disconcerting. It uses "black or white thinking" to convey that if you discipline your children you are disconnecting from them and causing them to lose confidence. The post in this photo encourages a parenting style that has shown to have negative outcomes, and does so through using words like "trauma". (𝘚𝘦𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘬 𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘰𝘵𝘵𝘰𝘮 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘵.)

𝗙𝗼𝗿 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗻𝘁𝘀 𝗼𝗳 𝗸𝗶𝗱𝘀 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗔𝗗𝗛𝗗:
In many years of doing this work the here's the outcome I see when parents of kids with a more impulsive/hyper profile of ADHD utilize this parenting style: They reach out for help when their child is about 14/15 and are desperate because their child's behaviors have controlled their home, caused problems in marriages, sibling relationships and made home life unbearable for the rest of the family. Every year I get emails from parents of older teens asking if their son (who they admit is irresponsible or completely prompt-dependent) can be a counselor at my camp. (𝘚𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘱𝘢𝘺 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 18 𝘺𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘰𝘭𝘥 𝘴𝘰 𝘐 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘣𝘢𝘣𝘺𝘴𝘪𝘵 𝘩𝘪𝘮?) For kids with a more inattentive profile, in my experience this parenting approach is a catalyst for excessive marijuana use after high school, in my experience.

𝗙𝗼𝗿 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗻𝘁𝘀 𝗼𝗳 𝗸𝗶𝗱𝘀 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗮 𝗵𝗶𝗴𝗵𝗲𝗿-𝘃𝗲𝗿𝗯𝗮𝗹 𝗮𝘂𝘁𝗶𝘀𝗺 (𝗔𝗦𝗗) 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗳𝗶𝗹𝗲:
𝘖𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘢 𝘥𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘥𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘴𝘵𝘶𝘥𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘧𝘢𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘪𝘦𝘴 𝘪𝘯 𝘮𝘺 𝘱𝘳𝘪𝘷𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘱𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘤𝘦 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘵𝘢𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘴 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘮𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘩𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘪𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘶𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘪𝘻𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘴𝘵𝘺𝘭𝘦.

I took this post from a Parenting Coach on social media. This person's credentials include being a parent and a "certified parent coach". 𝙋𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙨𝙚 𝙠𝙚𝙚𝙥 𝙞𝙣 𝙥𝙚𝙧𝙨𝙥𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙫𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙢𝙤𝙨𝙩 𝙥𝙖𝙧𝙚𝙣𝙩 𝙘𝙤𝙖𝙘𝙝𝙚𝙨 (𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙞𝙣𝙙𝙞𝙫𝙞𝙙𝙪𝙖𝙡) 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙣𝙤 𝙥𝙧𝙤𝙛𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙖𝙡 𝙡𝙞𝙘𝙚𝙣𝙨𝙚, 𝙙𝙤 𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙣𝙚𝙚𝙙 𝙖𝙣𝙮 𝙙𝙚𝙜𝙧𝙚𝙚𝙨, 𝙞𝙣𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙣𝙨𝙝𝙞𝙥 𝙝𝙤𝙪𝙧𝙨, 𝙘𝙡𝙞𝙣𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙡 𝙨𝙪𝙥𝙚𝙧𝙫𝙞𝙨𝙞𝙤𝙣 𝙤𝙧 𝙩𝙖𝙠𝙚 𝙡𝙞𝙘𝙚𝙣𝙨𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙚𝙭𝙖𝙢𝙨 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙨𝙚 𝙤𝙛 𝙪𝙨 𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙖𝙡 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙡𝙩𝙝 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧 𝙛𝙞𝙚𝙡𝙙𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙧𝙚𝙦𝙪𝙞𝙧𝙚 𝙖 𝙥𝙧𝙤𝙛𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙖𝙡 𝙡𝙞𝙘𝙚𝙣𝙨𝙚.

Kids who struggle with emotional regulation need to feel emotionally safe, they need to feel contained by their family who are responsible for teaching them how to function in the world.

𝙏𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙥𝙖𝙧𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙨𝙩𝙮𝙡𝙚 𝙘𝙖𝙪𝙨𝙚𝙨 𝙠𝙞𝙙𝙨 𝙩𝙤 𝙛𝙚𝙚𝙡 𝙚𝙢𝙤𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮 𝙪𝙣𝙨𝙖𝙛𝙚, 𝙗𝙚𝙘𝙖𝙪𝙨𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙞𝙨 𝙣𝙤 "𝙨𝙘𝙖𝙛𝙛𝙤𝙡𝙙𝙞𝙣𝙜" 𝙤𝙛 𝙚𝙭𝙥𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙨 𝙤𝙧 𝙗𝙚𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙞𝙤𝙧𝙖𝙡 𝙥𝙖𝙧𝙖𝙢𝙚𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙨 𝙖𝙧𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙙 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙢. 𝙏𝙝𝙚𝙮 𝙙𝙤 𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙘𝙤𝙣𝙨𝙚𝙦𝙪𝙚𝙣𝙘𝙚𝙨 𝙞𝙣 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙡 𝙡𝙞𝙛𝙚 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙘𝙚𝙧𝙩𝙖𝙞𝙣 𝙗𝙚𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙞𝙤𝙧𝙨.

𝙏𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙥𝙖𝙧𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙖𝙥𝙥𝙧𝙤𝙖𝙘𝙝 𝙙𝙤𝙚𝙨 𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙠 𝙬𝙚𝙡𝙡 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙖 𝙗𝙧𝙖𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙩𝙚𝙣𝙙𝙨 𝙩𝙤 𝙗𝙚 𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮 𝙘𝙤𝙣𝙘𝙧𝙚𝙩𝙚, 𝙙𝙤𝙚𝙨𝙣'𝙩 𝙙𝙤 𝙬𝙚𝙡𝙡 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙖𝙗𝙨𝙩𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩, 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙣𝙚𝙚𝙙𝙨 𝙥𝙖𝙧𝙖𝙢𝙚𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙨 𝙘𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙡𝙮 𝙨𝙥𝙚𝙡𝙡𝙚𝙙 𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙢.

The path of least resistance is easiest to take when it's rebranded as "connection" and "protection". It will keep your children happiest with you, it will avoid conflicts. In my professional experience it it setting kids up to be completely unprepared to deal with a world that will not accommodate or indulge them.

Read more on the potential ramifications of permissive/indulgent parenting:

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