"𝗜𝘁 𝗻𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝗼𝗰𝗰𝘂𝗿𝗿𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝗺𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗜 𝘀𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗺𝗮𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗵𝗶𝗺 𝗴𝗲𝘁 𝗵𝗶𝗺𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳 𝘂𝗽 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘀𝗰𝗵𝗼𝗼𝗹 𝘀𝗲𝗻𝗶𝗼𝗿 𝘆𝗲𝗮𝗿. 𝗛𝗶𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗮𝗽𝗶𝘀𝘁 𝗰𝗲𝗿𝘁𝗮𝗶𝗻𝗹𝘆 𝗻𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝗯𝗿𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝘂𝗽 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 𝘆𝗼𝘂'𝗿𝗲 𝗲𝘅𝗽𝗹𝗮𝗶𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗼 𝘂𝘀."
Marc's father said this to me when we first met. Marc was an 19 year old who had attended an academically rigorous private school where he excelled and was accepted into a highly competitive program at a prestigious university.
𝙒𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙞𝙣 𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙙𝙤𝙧𝙢 𝙧𝙤𝙤𝙢 𝙖𝙩 𝙣𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙈𝙖𝙧𝙘 𝙛𝙚𝙡𝙡 𝙞𝙣𝙩𝙤 𝙖 𝙥𝙖𝙩𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙣 𝙄 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙨𝙚𝙚𝙣 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙩𝙡𝙚𝙨𝙨 𝙘𝙤𝙡𝙡𝙚𝙜𝙚 𝙛𝙧𝙚𝙨𝙝𝙢𝙖𝙣 𝙛𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙞𝙣𝙩𝙤: 𝙝𝙚 𝙬𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙 𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙮 𝙪𝙥 𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮 𝙡𝙖𝙩𝙚 𝙥𝙡𝙖𝙮𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙫𝙞𝙙𝙚𝙤 𝙜𝙖𝙢𝙚𝙨 𝙬𝙝𝙞𝙘𝙝 𝙘𝙖𝙪𝙨𝙚𝙙 𝙝𝙞𝙢 𝙩𝙤 𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙧𝙩 𝙢𝙞𝙨𝙨𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙘𝙡𝙖𝙨𝙨𝙚𝙨.
The university student support services recommended a local ADHD Coach for Marc when his grades started to slip. When Marc's parents asked if they coach could help him with time management they were honest and said they did not know how to teach Marc how to develop a sense of the passage of time as they focused on academic skills.
While Marc did his best to try to keep up academically he continued to be unable to manage his excessive gaming which led to him missing more classes and needing to withdraw from the university at the end of his first semester. (𝘖𝘧𝘵𝘦𝘯, 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘨𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘶𝘥𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘴 𝘸𝘩𝘰𝘮 𝘐'𝘷𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬𝘦𝘥 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘪𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘦𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘧𝘪𝘳𝘴𝘵 𝘴𝘦𝘮𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳).
I explained to Marc's family that his experience was not uncommon at all. His father explained how he woke Marc up for school every day, made sure he went to bed at a reasonable hour, etc. This lasted through 12th grade.
Marc's school had recommended a local therapist to his family when he was in 9th grade and was struggling with the demands of the high school curriculum.
🤔"Did you guys ever talk about the independent skills you would need to be successful in college such as managing your sleep on your own?" I asked Marc. "No, we basically talked about academics, studying for tests or the sports I played." Marc replied. "What's your understanding of ADHD?" I asked Marc. "Difficulty concentrating." he said.
𝗠𝗮𝗿𝗰'𝘀 𝗲𝘅𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗰𝗼𝗮𝗰𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 & 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗮𝗽𝘆 𝗶𝘀 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗜 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝘀𝗲𝗲𝗻 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁𝗹𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲𝘀:
⚬Marc was never given an explanation of ADHD as it pertained to managing his life independently.
⚬His parents were never taught how to move Marc from being prompt-dependent towards independent so he would be better prepared to manage college independently.
⚬There was no discussion about release of responsibility, meaning Marc started using his own executive functioning instead of his parents acting as his executive functioning.
⚬No discussion about the pitfalls of many college students with ADHD.
⚬A focus on academic/organizational skills, at the expense of learning how to manage oneself independently
Marc's parents did not do anything wrong in their parenting. They were never educated about how to prepare Marc for college.
I worked with Marc for several months focusing of teaching him how to "feel time" (the same strategy I teach in Webinar 3 of Executive Function Crash Course) and also helping him manage his video game usage. We also worked on helping Marc learn to get through non-preferred school work (taught in Webinar 4). Marc was able to return to college the next fall and was successful his second time around.
⌚𝗦𝘁𝗮𝗿𝘁 𝗯𝘂𝗶𝗹𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘀𝗲 𝘀𝗸𝗶𝗹𝗹𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘄, 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗮𝗳𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝘀𝗼𝗻/𝗱𝗮𝘂𝗴𝗵𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗵𝗮𝘀 𝗮𝗻 𝗲𝘅𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝗠𝗮𝗿𝗰.
👉🏽Executive Function Crash Course Webinar Series: https://adhddude.com/executive-function/
𝗔𝗹𝗹 𝘄𝗲𝗯𝗶𝗻𝗮𝗿𝘀 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗮𝘃𝗮𝗶𝗹𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗲, 𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗼𝗹𝗹 𝗱𝗼𝘄𝗻 𝗽𝗮𝘀𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝗼𝗹𝗱 𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝘀𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝘀𝗲𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗼𝗽𝗲𝗻 𝗼𝗻𝗲𝘀.